You Know You''re an UltraLady If...
by Various Authors
- Your favorite piece of jewelry is your running watch.
- You have a walk-in closet dedicated to running apparel.
- You have a permanent tan in the outline of a jogbra.
- You have the complete collection of every “long lasting” lip color ever made.
- You have a trail shoe collection that would make Imelda Marcos envious.
- As an infant, you were dropped on your head.
- You don''t need to paint your toenails... they''re already different colors.
- You buy economy-size Vaseline on a regular basis.
- You wear high heels only to relieve your achilles tendonitis.
- You wear running clothes to work so you''re prepared for after work.
- Peeing in the toilet seems unnatural.
- You walk up the stairs and run down them.
- You run marathons for speed work.
- You can pee on the trail... standing up.
- You make a mean boiled pierogie.
- You ask Santa for gifts from UltraFit.
- You use sun block as skin moisturizer.
- You would rather run than argue.
- Your doggie drinks out of your running bottle.
- You''ve taught your daughter a few good uses for duct tape.
- You get more phone calls at 5 AM than 5 PM.
- You launder your running shirts in your lingerie bag.
- You don''t think twice about eating food you''ve picked up off the floor.
- You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training.
- You ran a 100-miler and found another use for your Lamaze breathing.
- You polish your toes when you lose the nail.
- You meet a man at a trail race and the topic of conversation is the color of your pee.
- Your cosmetics are organized into different sized zip-lock bags.
- You don''t even look for porta-potties anymore.
- You own a Swiss army knife and you know how to use it.
- You wear your trail shoes into the house.
- You have scabs on your pretty little knees.
- Your pedicure kit includes a pair of pliers.
- When you meet the opposite sex, you see:
- ... a possible crew
- ... a possible pacer
- ... a possible search and rescue team
- ... a possible source of race entry fees
- You believe there''s no “men''s room” or “ladies'' room” out on the trail.
- You track more mud in the house than your kids do.
And you know you''re an UltraLadiesMan if... your running hero is Ann Trason !
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