ULTRALADIES MAIN MENU
Oral Rehydration Salts
All content © Trail Run Events
by Rich "The Troubadour" Limacher (by permission)
RMOG # 2 {this was originally Number 17}
[Again I'm indebted to Nancy Shura for this suggestion.]
Bud Light presents...
REAL MEN OF GENIUS
{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}
Today we salute you, Mr. Exception-Demander for Admittance to Filled-Up Footraces.
{Mis-ter oh-come-on doancha want/doancha even looooove mee doood!}
Yes, they gave you warnings. Yes, they told you well ahead of time to send in your app, and, yes, you've known about previous years' fill-ups ever since you joined the listserv, but somehow this doesn't apply. You sent in a week ago, and the race starts tomorrow. So it is impossible for you to even conceive that it could actually start without you.
{Yooou peoples hafta beeee kid-ding meeeeee!}
Your check and paperwork was returned by the post office, but you *know* this is all wrong. So over the blower you go, screaming at the race director that there's been some mistake---right into the race director's voice mail.
{Yoooooou lousy horrible mean freakin' nasty so-and-so any-waaaaaaaaay!!}
Of course "it slipped your mind." Of course you're "a busy man." Of course you have a lot of responsibilities and "this race isn't the ONLY all-precious athletic activity in the universe." And besides, your "wife failed in her duty to remind you," you "were injured before but now you're not," you "have ALWAYS run this race," your "friend is running and NEEDS you there," and of course: "you people made an exception for me LAST YEAR! How can you change your mind NOW?"
{Maaaaaybe if wee offered our first-born chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild?}
Here it is Friday and you're not even connected "live" with anyone in charge, the race happens five hundred miles away from your home, and suddenly, Mister Wizard, you are inspired to ask, "What if I send this Overnight Express with guaranteed delivery by 9 AM???"
{Beeecause it's YOUUUU, we now cel-e-brate 4th of Juuuuly on the 5th!!!!!}
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Julius Caesar, Inventor of the Calendar, because your slaves are already all chained to their oars in your galleon, just waiting for Your Exalted Majesty to step onboard, so that they can row you to Leadville in plenty of time for the 4 AM start.
{Mis-ter Exception-Demander for Admittance to Filled-Up Footraces!}
Bud Light beer: we don't care where it's made, we just dig their commercials.
( O_O )
Yours troubly,
The Troubadour
Yankee Folly of the Day:
And isn't it amazing how, if you fail to qualify for Boston, you can still BUY your way in? The Chicago Marathon, too, although closed for months, still has "limited entries available" for peeps who pony up enough cash for THEIR favorite charities.
___________________________________________________________________
